how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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