oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Text me some of your sweat
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
