Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
