Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
