Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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