Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
now i know why i became what i already was.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
