I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
