Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
