It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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