You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize