so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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