Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
