they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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