There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
