Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Girls should come with a carfax report
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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