Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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