no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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