Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
