ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
