Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
