Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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