My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
