Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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