SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
