Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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