so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Reggie can tackle my bush.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Randomize
