What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
