I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Randomize
