last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
