I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
