Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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