I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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