wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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