The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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