So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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