this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
