he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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