Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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