At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
