Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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