You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
he high fived his dick after we had sex
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
