he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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