I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
