when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
