I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
