what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
its liver damage thursday
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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