lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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