All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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