Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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