I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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