GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm just crazy horny about you
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
