And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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