Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
