I was born with a shot glass in my hand
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
