you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Who died my cat blue again?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
