It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
