Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
