there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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