i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
